The Power of Gratitude
I was already late for a meeting when I hit the worst of the mid-afternoon traffic down Umm Suqiem Road. I sat in gridlock, as angry drivers honked their frustration at the cars around them. As my car slowly inched forward, the reason for the delays came into my view; an accident between a taxi and a truck; the former smashed entirely, the imprint of destruction visible from behind. The crash must have been at speed; the drivers lucky to emerge unscathed. And I watched them shout and wave their arms to the sky. One blaming the other. Both victims of events.
At this moment I thought about gratitude. How strange it is that in the moment of an accident, we think first about what we have lost; what we no longer have. Not what we still have or what we may gain from this.
From deficit to abundant thinking
Deficit thinking happens a lot in life and work. Our minds are continually focused on the future – our next meeting, our end of month targets, our kids getting into the ‘right’ university. We tell ourselves that fulfilment and happiness are ahead of us provided we do more, acquire more, try harder. We focus on what others are attracting in their lives and tell ourselves we need to get there too. And we chastise ourselves when we slip up, miss a beat or the uncontrollable happens. We turn the unfortunate onto ourselves and others, believing that what has occurred is bad and someone is to blame.
But we can choose differently. We can choose gratitude.
Sat in the car, watching the scene of the drivers taking their suffering out on each other I asked myself how I could draw myself from judgement to gratitude. I thought about the moment just before I saw the accident, when it did not exist in my awareness. The space between before and after; one moment of time. First, I thought about all the people around me stuck in gridlock in that moment of time. Inconvenienced by delay but not injured, ill or broken. Just delayed. Then I thought about all the people in the world in that moment of time. Many ill, many suffering, many struggling to stay alive. And I thought, how grateful I am to be here, in this traffic jam. Yes, I may be delayed, but I have music, I have air con, I have the view of the palm trees swaying in the breeze. How grateful I am to be here and nowhere else right now. I immediately felt peace in my heart. My attention was no longer focused on the accident, the drivers or any delay. I let the calm engulf me completely as I went about my day.
Choosing gratitude
The impact of gratitude from that incident was so powerful, I have been practising what I learnt in the workplace ever since. When faced with challenge, conflict or set-back, I have been focusing on choosing gratitude. Mindset change takes time and effort so here’s a summary of what I practice when I consciously choose to shift from deficit to abundant thinking:
Step 1: Pause and label your emotions
When triggered, I notice the emotions that show up inside of me. Often negative – judgement, frustration, irritation – I label them as just that. They are emotions and only that. They are not the universal truth, they are just what I choose to focus on in that moment.
Step 2: Focus on the moment that came before
Re-imagine the moment before you were triggered. Think about the world as it was before the trigger occurred. Think about what you are grateful for in that moment; without judgement. If it helps, imagine how it would be if you did not have what you have in that moment.
Step 3: Sit in the beauty of what you have
Let your thoughts gather around what you do have. What is fortunate about your situation? Who and what are you grateful for? What else?
Step 4: Say thank you for what you have
Form the words “Thank you” for each of the gifts and opportunities that you have uncovered. Say them out loud if you really feel them.
Step 5: Drop gratitude into your heart and let go
Feel the words “Thank you” in your heart as you say them and let go of any attachment to them. Gratitude is something you feel in your heart; not think in your head. So let go of your thoughts and feel the space you create deep inside.
We spend much of our days focusing on what’s next. We think our way through life and work as if feelings of happiness and joy are conditional on us achieving our immediate targets. When we pause to appreciate the abundant gifts and opportunities that are already present in the moment, we become grateful for all that occurs around us.
If you are ready to change the way you lead to have greater impact, reach out to engage in C-Success Coaching at https://www.kiranscarr.com/coaching