Letting go of perfection
‘Perfection is the enemy of good’, that’s what they say, right? When I look back at how I behaved as a high-performing private practice lawyer, my biggest struggle seems to have been my constant need to be perfect. Nothing I did was ever good enough for me. My head was always full of what I should be doing instead of what I wanted to do. In the face of closing one major cross-border transaction, all I would feel was that I needed to do more next time. In this constant pursuit of perfection, I was not fully aware of how the need to continually prove myself was overriding my personality and performance. I would focus on what was missing; never grateful for what I, in fact, had. I became inflexible, uncompassionate, and unforgiving. I closed myself down from the inside. I dehumanised.
Signs that perfectionism may be holding you back:
You find it difficult to let go of control.
You consistently feel that unless you over-deliver, your effort is not good enough.
You avoid change unless you know you will succeed at it.
You find yourself resenting, blaming or criticising others for their choices.
You are running on empty tank all of the time.
Letting go of perfection is difficult. It is a process that takes patience and practice. It starts with becoming aware of the impact that the pursuit of perfection is having on how we behave. Then we must adjust our behaviour to secure different outcomes until finally we can embrace imperfection wholeheartedly.
The essential route to letting go of perfection is to observe how your perfectionist traits show up day to day and experiment with what happens when you make a different choice. There are 3 steps that you can take in this process of change:
1. Assess your perfectionist tendencies.
Start by raising your awareness of the extent to which perfectionism shows up in you and your interactions with the people around you. That way, you will better understand the effect perfectionism has on your life and work.
2. Identify your perfectionist triggers.
Once you are aware of the extent of your perfectionism, it’s time to assess the triggers that lead to this. The triggers are key because there may be some simple themes behind your perfectionist thinking and behaviour that you can address at root level.
3. Experiment with changing your behaviour.
Armed with what triggers your perfectionist ways, you can start to experiment. The trick is to notice when you are triggered, pause and reflect, then choose a new way to respond. Journal what has occurred so you can develop your understanding of what’s holding you back from embracing imperfection.
For an exercise in letting go of perfection, visit www.kiranscarr.com/downloads.
What shifts us from traditional to growth leadership is learning to appreciate the value in the imperfect. This means training our minds to see that there is beauty in what is missing, broken or failing. Only with imperfection do we make space for learning and growth.
If you are ready to change the way you lead to have greater impact, reach out to engage in C-Success Coaching at https://www.kiranscarr.com/coaching.