Detach from Control
A former colleague is a self-confessed control freak. Too scared to let go, she manages the loops and bounds of her challenging executive role by operating the controls of every team member’s task list. By focusing on controlling tasks, she directly and efficiently achieves goals and targets with maximized effectiveness. Teams become high performing under her management because she gets results – specific, short-term business goals are met. But she knows all too well the opportunity cost of control. Motivation and energy levels are low. Complaints and conflict are high. She feels like she is spinning too many plates and is in constant fear of failure. She’s exhausted and her team are exhausted too. They are on the highway to burnout.
The need to detach from control
She knows she needs to let go of results, but she doesn’t know how. How will her high-performing team keep achieving, if she isn’t results-focused?
The law of attraction is a lesson in letting go of results. It says that only when we detach from control over what we want are we free to attract what is destined for us. When we fear uncertainty, change, or the unknown, our instincts tell us to hang on tight to what we have. In fact, we must do the opposite; we must let go and create space between ourselves and whatever unknown is ahead of us. And we need to step forward into that space and welcome the new and the unexpected.
Stepping into influence
When we think of letting go of control we assume this means letting go of responsibility. In truth, it means letting go of those parts for which we are not responsible and placing them in the hands of those who are. We shift our focus from control to influence. More specifically, we relinquish control over tasks in favour of influencing how people step-up.
It looks like this:
1. From controlling performance to empowering everyone’s strengths
Rather than controlling the ‘what, when and how’ of tasks that we have delegated to others, we explain the ‘what and when’ and step back. We let them lead themselves through the ‘how’ and let them know that they can check-in, ask for support and rely on us if things go awry. In doing so, they feel empowered and engaged and resourceful enough to ensure expectations are met.
2. From driving short-term results to engaging future thinking
Fixated on monthly, quarterly and annual targets we reduce performance to machine-like delivery. Instead, we can connect team members’ hearts and minds to their work by putting the ‘why’ front and centre. Joining the dots between the tasks at hand and their contribution to the bigger picture vision, mission and strategy can turn the most mundane task into a self-motivated flow activity.
3. From focusing on task completion to inspiring performance through learning
Rather than focusing on quality and quantity of input -v- output, we can shift attention to the process of learning itself. When we measure success by levels of effort, progress, growth and achievement, we learn to celebrate the journey of discovery, experimentation and fresh thinking above achievement of destination. Team members become deeply connected to their contribution and collaboration with others. Performance is measured by what is learnt through creativity and innovation rather than what is achieved.
4. From motivating through ego to humanising a room
When we lead through our egos, we focus on how we think we are perceived by others. When we let go of our attachment to perception, our attention is drawn to how people feel. How our actions, choices and words impact others. We learn how to improve our impact by invoking positive emotions like empathy, compassion and caring. We rehumanise ourselves and, in doing so, we humanise others.
We use control as a replacement for belief in ourselves and others. We fear letting go of control because we have forgotten how it feels just to be. Let go of control and step into the space ahead. In that space lies discovery, improvement and, achievement beyond belief.
If you want to have greater impact on the people and businesses you serve, reach out to engage in C-Success Coaching at https://www.kiranscarr.com/coaching.